Good morning. I feel like eggs+bacon and sausage but we didn't buy that stuff. Oooh and pancakes. Hmph. *pouts* I miss my internet. Fuuuuuuuck. Anyway I love having this n/b it will seriously keep me from going insane out of boredom. Plus, I'll be watching Ry some this month for extra $$$ and I know I'll need to vent. Lol. Oy, I had a dream that I caught my mom + D having sex. I feel like throwing up now. Lol.
Last night I read everything you wrote. It was so intriguing. I love childhood stories. Man, I rubbed my nose raw and now there's a store so I look like a freak. WTF lol. I put eucerin cream on it cause I want it to heal and I can't find any neosporin or vaseline. So we'll see.
Ack I'm hungry... ok so today oughta be a good day if rain and thunder doesn't ruin it. We're going to da pool! *squee* I love having my own place. I mean, I know my parents had a community pool but it's just nice knowing that I can walk out of MY apartment and go to MY pool w/o worrying it'll piss my parents off.
Jeebus I'm so tired of sniffling and being stuffy. Just go away cold! Oh great--thunder. Grrrrr. Man and it's going to rain. Super!
I'm still a little upset with A. I feel like she really stabbed me in the back. Maybe I shouldn't feel like that though? Just like, if my friend got pulled over for a BS reason and had a gun pulled on them, I wouldn't stay because my boyfriend wanted to, I'd stay because I wanted to. Ugh.
Anyway, man it must be nice for D to have video games to play while I have like, next to nothing to do. It's kinda irritating actually. I have nothing to read, 3 channels to watch but nothing is on, no internet, and he's in there gaming. Nice. I feel like throwing something. This is seriously thyroid related. Dang.
I think tonight I'm going to take the laptop by the pool and go do add ons for my RPG. I get an internet connection there. There's an infomercial on for kids with cleft lip/palates. Sad. But in these countries, there's kids who their parents won't let their kid out of the house without bags over their heads and then whine because they can't get help for their kid cause "they might die." I'm like if it was my kid, I wouldn't give a flying fuck what other people thought. I just want him/her to live. Ugh. People make me sick.
Still it's nice to have people in these countries perform surgeries like that for the needy.
Blah. I am so bored. Lol I'm sorry. I shouldn't even complain but really. I'm bored. I'm so worried how we're going to pay everything now my hours got cut. They chose the worst time to do that. But luckily I have health care starting Oct 1st so that's good. well, let's see about answering some of those questions you asked me.
1) I have to really think about my first kiss. I'm not sure I even remember who it was to be honest. Weird, because like, I used to be a complete prude. I think it was with this guy i was dating in 7th grade. JL. We went to a movie and I had told him I didn't want to kiss tongue. So he just gave me a peck and I guess I jumped the gun and stuck my tongue in his (throat?) but--it didn't go over so well. Haha. So I barely felt it. We fought about it too. He treated me--after we broke up--like I was gross. Oh! I triggered my memory. Nk L. Ew. With a double scoop of gross. I met him through a former friend of mine at church no less. Her church had a lock in at some little youth center. Nk and I had already cuddled most of the night. He was 16, I was 14. And he was very touchy feely. I never really felt comfortable with it all, and his brother Shn (yea, a boy named Shn!) was always making fun of me--I had yellow teeth, I was cross eyed, etc. etc. But Nk didn't stop to stick up for me. No, all he cared about was making out. He was a terrible kisser! He kind of just shoved his tongue down my throat and wiggled it around. People left the lock in because Nk and I made them so uncomfortable. I broke up with him the next day. That's how so many of my "relationships" went... emotional closeness and intimacy made me head straight for the door.
Anyway, I think that will do it for now. Sweet dreams.
Love,
C
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