12-03-06
Hi. I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. That's why I never get to write in here. I have time now because the hubby and my dad are drooling over some football game even though we're supposed to go get dinner. I'm mildly annoyed by this but I can't really complain much because at least they get along--almost too well. Lol. Men.
Anyway, I feel like hiding away from the world. I think it's because I'm constantly reminded of what a "bad" person I've been. I really don't want people to remember me as a bitch though. I know I've gotten mad over some crazy shit at times but God. I can't take that back. I want people to remember C the good friend. The sweetie. etc. etc. etc. Like with Brian. I truly feel like I've just realized what a good friendship I'm missing out on. I wish he didn't hate me so much over something to do with J Med. Maybe I should've just minded my own business. Maybe I got carried away and went too far when I was just trying to tell him not to hurt you. Honestly though, if the roles were reversed and you were talking to your ex-boyfriend about sex, I would've done the same thing. Not b/c I'm trying to attack you, but b/c I care about you both.
I know I should let it go. He's made up his mind. But a part of me feels like lashing out, but the better part of me feels like hiding.
It sucks. At least I've learned to keep my mouth shut!
Anyway, hub is ready.
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