It's like 1:30am on Saturday the 29th of September and I still don't have any power. N brought over this cool light thingy that goes on top of your head and it is really cool. B pissed me off again. These past few days despite my period I was ready to make love with him and he fucking ditches me to go to his friend's house that has air conditioning. Dude--if you went w/o sex for a month and you were ready again, wouldn't you go for it no matter what was going on? I dunno if it's my period that's making me horny but I don't fucking care. And the meanie just left. Well he's not getting ANYTHING from me for a while let me tell you. Dumb Ass.
Well, I'm lonely all here by my lonesome so I'm gonna read my book for a while. I love you and it was great seeing you tonight.
Man--having no electricity could have been really romantic. This sucks ass. Stupid B. I didn't even kiss him when I went back into the living room. I just got my light and the book and he tried to kiss me but I just left him hanging. Hmmmm. A night of naked passion with his girlfriend or sitting in AC for a couple hours. Passion. AC. Hmmmm let me think about this really fucking hard. I can't believe those assholes turned off my power and then tried to blame me for it. Nobody told me I had to go to the front office. They should have stopped in the office first and got the key and then unlocked it. Duh. Of course it would be locked. If it wasn't locked people would be screwing with people's power.
Hey btw that guy who says inappropriate things about children is probably a child predator and D should call the police on him. He'd need proof, but do a background check on him.
Okay--hey I think a bonfire would be a great idea. We should rent a pavilion and have a bbq and it would be open and stuff. I like that.
Okay--now I'm gonna read and then try and go to sleep.
Love you,
R
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Sept 29th, 2007
"5pmish"
Hey sweetheart. I got my cable back! But not w/o a fight. I woke up at 8 for clinicals after an extremely shitty night's sleep. I went to clinics. And then while I was waiting, I called FPL to check on my order status and again it had been cancelled! I'm just like, "what the fuck?" So I talk to someone and she told me that I needed to wait until 8:51pm. I didn't like that. So I talked to a supervisor and he basically said he'll get there when he gets there. So I got through my massages and I filled out all my paperwork and I went home. But first I stopped at the office. I told the lady my situation and she gets on the phone with them and they try and give her the run around but she just says that they never had a problem going to the office before. So finally around 2 someone FINALLY gets here and turns all my shit on. Yay!
So... what do I want for my birthday? Hmmm... I really want Degrassi season 5 but B is getting me that. You know what you can get me? There is this lady named Colbie something or other that sings the song "bubbly." If you got that cd for me it would be awesome. And you know what? If you and D want to come over for Thanksgiving/Christmas, you are totally more than welcome to. B makes the turkey and I make garlic mashed potatoes. We watch all the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends (hey they have a DVD of all the holiday episodes and if you want to get that for me we can watch it when you come over--another hint... muahhahahaha).
This will be my 3rd holiday season away from my family. I miss them... but life goes on. Sometimes I don't know why I chose to live so far away from my family. I guess when I was younger Florida always seemed like such a magical place. I saw myself traveling and watching the sun set on the beach, just driving in my car along the palm tree studded roadways. Now that I've lived here for a little over 2 years and I've been through so much--I don't quite regret it. It was a huge decision to move away from my family. but it had nothing to do with wanting to get away from them. I just wanted to live my life without people talking about me. But hell, I guess it doesn't matter where you live. People are going to talk shit about you no matter where you go. But you know what? None of that really matters to me. The only thing that does matter to me is who I can trust. Everyone else can fuck off.
I know there was stuff I wanted to comment on I just can't find it. You know, I am really proud of this whole notebook thing. Because not only is it giving us something to look forward to, I truly believe it has brought us closer together. I personally think we could make up a whole bunch of these. It could be like a tradition or something. And if we have children and they became interested in writing, they can write each other. And if we live far away it'll be like the Sisterhood of the travelling notebook or something. Just write in it until you're ready to send it off.
I want to be close to you when we have our babies but I also want to be close to my parents. I wish there was a way I could have it both ways.
Do you ever wonder what your kids will be like? I hope mine will be creative like me. This is of course if I even want to have children.
You know--I have never liked Kanye West. I don't even know what songs he did. But man--Britney Spears could be spectacular. I don't think she is too proud of the past few years. But I'm sure is has not been perfect for anyone else. I just don't understand why she HAD to shave her head. And then attack a car w/ her umbrella. You know what I am thinking? I think she is just a regular girl who is sick of everyone attacking her but she does things "for show" to the paparazzi so they will talk about THAT and note invade her real life. I think she keeps that private and she does all these wacky things to appear a certain way to the public. Does that make any sense at all?
I don't know why you can write about certain people so easily and then with others you can't. But I think the love you feel for D is so real that it's nearly impossible to put those feelings into words. And other people are just better muses than others.
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I think al-anon is a great idea. I want to know why I accept people the way they are so much so that when they hurt me I am genuinely surprised. Ooh that reminds me I didn't finish telling you about my whole crazy 9/11 story. Lol. But I am running out of time so for now I must move on.
Oh--Rory and Jess broke up because he abandoned her. They were at a party and they were kissing and he tried to have sex with her but she said no and she ran out of the room and he and Dean got into a fight and then Jess left. Then he came back and tried to tell her that he loved her but everytime something bad would happen he would leave her.
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I'm not mad! My phone just wasn't on.
Why are boys like that? I don't know where they get this notion that being jealous means you care. That's a bunch of crap. He needs to realize that you are not S. You two are married. He needs to let go of what she did and just trust you to be you. And he needs to realize that making someone jealous on purpose is a stupid and very childish game.
Well my dear, I am going to lay down for now. I gotta go to work soon. And I want to say that I will get this back to you on Friday, but we'll see. It depends on what we're doing and when/if we see each other.
Love you,
R
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