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Hey Sweetness!
Well, it's Monday and I'm here at work so now you get to hear ME bitch about my job for the next 4 hours and 45 minutes. Hahaha ::points and laughs:: I think that I'm not going to bother looking for a job I'm just going to be a freelance massage therapist. I know a bunch of people I work with that would help.
Blah--I have some crazy shit to write about today (bot aren't YOU lucky). For one, I heard this song on the radio that reminded me of my exboyfriend. And it's stuck in my head now. I can't think of the name but it's by Jimmy Eat World and it goes: "so do your best, try everything you can, and don't worry what their bitter hearts tell themselves when you're away." It reminds me of the first time I drove to his dad's house. He was dressed up for a job interview (he had told me he owned a bar and he never told me that he had been living with his sister since July). We stayed at his sister (L's) apartment and on the way back to his dad's house the song was on the radio. Just thinking of that reminds me of how niave I was. How I wanted to believe everything he said. But mostly, I understand now why he wanted me. This is going to sound really lame, but do you remember in Season 4 of Degrassi when Emma was fooling around with Jay? She found out he had an STD and she asked him why he picked her and he said she had virtue. Well, up until that point in my life, I had virtue and innocence. I really had no idea what people go through to survive. My parents weren't the richest but they did their best with me. I loved the fact that I had never "just fooled around" or "just had sex" with a guy. I wasn't SO niave that I didn't know what went on in the world. I had friends who came from broken families and weren't virgins. I never judged them but I think they never wanted me to be a part of it so I would stay innocent. A part of me was angry because I never felt included. But now I realize that they were just trying to protect me and they thought if I didn't know something, it was better. But with M, I couldn't just close my eyes and stay blind. He opened my eyes to the dark side of life. He has 2 biological siblings. J and L. His mom would have dinner on the table and a clean house, but she would cry herself to sleep every night. His parents divorced and at first they lived with their mom. Whenever she brought a date home she would lock them in their room. She married some guy named G who was an asshole. M used to have all these stuffed animals until G piled them all up in the backyard and set fire to them. When M was 13 they all moved back to his dad's house in Algonquin (their mom lived in Chicago). L moved out on her own when she was 17. When she was 18 she had H and when she was 22 she had J. J married someone and was divorced by the time he was 23. Her name was S. M just didn't know which direction to follow. His dad married someone who I think had 2 children from a previous marriage. By the time I met M (in August 2002) he was an alcoholic with no job living with his sister in her 2 bedroom apartment. He was being sued by his exgirlfriend (which is why he can't get a regular job because they will find him and garnish his wages). He still owes her a significant amount of money. They bought a car together and he lost his job and she was paying for it on her own but she couldn't afford it so her credit got fucked... she was suing for half of what he owes her (which is really $40,000). So... I dunno what is happening with that. But I really don't care. All I know is--now he's 30 and as far as I know he still gets piss drunk. Sometimes I wonder what he tells his current girlfriend about me. But I really don't want to know. The bad part of me wants to start shit just for fun. But it's not worth it to me. I think he just needs someone to pray for him. Anyways, I'm off to read some of what you wrote now. Whee!
<3,
R Bo B
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Hey sweets!
Yep you guessed it. I couldn't stay away for long. I am enjoying all your neighborhood stories, btw. I have to reach into the depths of my memory to think of my best neighborhood stories because most of my favorite ones were from when I was little.
But first let me tell you how badly this day is sucking. It's almost 2 and the 5th race has already gone off and you want to know how many customers I have? About 6. This is going to be a looooonnnng day. I am so glad I brought this with me today. Depending on how much I write, this may be the only day that I can write in here (at work). I don't want to fill up 90 pages at work. I mean, I am giving myself until your birthday to write as much as I can but I want it to last for a while.
Anywhoo... So I think I already mapped out my neighborhood to you. Well, I used to live in a ranch style duplex on a cul-de-sac. Mine was 4th from the end. My friend C used to live across the street but she didn't like me at first. The house on the corner used to belong to these people who had a daughter named S. Brb I have to peeeeee something awful. Ahhh so much better. Anywho, S was not a nice girl. The only things I remember from being friends with her is what my parents told me. My mom tells me that she let us play with wooden spoons and S took hers and hit me in the head with it. My mom would also tell me to get into bed and pretend to go to sleep so that she would think I was sleepy and go home. So anyways, they moved away and C's parents moved from the house next to J's house into the house on the corner. J stopped hanging out with C and started in on me. She was very dictatorish. She had a best friend who moved away so she wouldn't leave me alone but whenever her friend would come over she would invite me over just so she could ignore me. And I believe she STILL lives at home. I don't know if she even graduated high school.
Oh well. Screw her--she has problems. Lol!
Oy! 9 minutes to the 7th race. I hate Mondays.
Anyways, when I was REALLY little I had a neighbor named Rita Chester. I really miss her :(. I think neighborhoods are so interesting. There's always a dynamic of sharing your life with strangers. There's the people 2 houses down who you can hear having sex, the ones who throw the best parties, the "old bitty patrol" who knows everything about everyone, the people you can run to and the people you run away from.
I know you won't get this until your birthday, but I thought this next topic is fitting for Halloween.
What neighborhood house/legend scared you the most when you were a kid?
To tell you the truth, I think my house scared me more than anything. I never knew the history of the land until I was a little bit older. You know how every neighborhood has a name to it? Well, on my street it was called "Summerhill." I don't remember what the rest of the neighborhood was called. (If I told you any of this before I apologize. Sometimes the stories all run into each other.)
Well, it was like this ~~~~~~~> (diagram of my neighborhood)
I did the best I could. Anyways, the cutoff for public school was Thorndale until the stop sign. The whole rest of the neighborhood went to Huff. But my public school was Channing. I didn't go to Channing--I went to a private school. So I really didn't know any of the stories about the land until I met J and D (through J at Ellis when I was in the 7th grade). That land had been built later and they knew more about it than I did. It turns out the woods by my house was part of old time farm land and there were witch circles.
About 200 years ago when the land was all farms, whenever the family's kin would die, they would bury them. So there's over 200 year old farmers' spirits that still exist, not to mention whatever entities those witches conjured up. And it seemed that my house was a spirit magnet, letting good and bad in the house. I never experienced anything at anyone else's house the way I experienced it at mine. Sorry if all that is somewhat confusing, it still confuses me.
Well, I have a few more questions that hopefully have not been answered yet. i am going to put these in the book and then read more of your entries (which I'm loving, btw lol) ~~~~~> {questions}
Wow--what an asshole. There is this guy going around the track telling everyone I gave him the wrong ticket. His name is Frank and he is a trouble maker. He always has a problem with something. Now he's gonna come to my window and bitch at me. I fucking can't stand him. The only one that won and I had to fuck it up. Sure, I'm extremely tired from being on my period and a bunch of these assholes all come up at the last minute spouting numbers off at me. Half the time they don't remember what they said. I dunno why I put the 3 on top instead of the 5--maybe I got confused. I dunno. But if he got the trifecta that pays more anyway. I dunno what he's bitching about, even if I made the right ticket it wouldn't have won. See here-- ~~~~~~> Ooh he would have won. I pulled up the wrong results. But it still would have only been $18.00. Maybe a little more, I dunno. At least he got the trifecta. I just feel bad. Stupid Frank! He really needs to piss off. Alright, enough babbling about the asshole customers.
Wednesday is Halloween! We are able to dress up, but I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I think I'm just going to put on a bunch of jewelry and make up or something. I dunno! I want to go to hot Topic and buy some Punk jewelry and make myself emo or something. haha.
So... I'm getting your card all pretty now and I really hope you enjoy it. I really need to know the next day you have off, or maybe I can stay over on a Thursday night. I want to take you to the beach and Clematis St. and maybe a few other places to take pictures. It doesn't look like much now but I know that once I get finished with it, it'll be amazing. I think I'm going to wrap the notebook up so you think you're getting another present and put the card inside it with clues or something. I dunno, I'll figure it out. But I am going to ask you if there's any place you would like to go for pictures. Maybe we can find a park or something. And bring some funny props or something. Anyways, it's almost the 12th race. I only have 3 more to go (4 including this one: 12, 13, 14, 15). So Imma try and read the rest of your entries (if I don't think of something else to write about).
<3, me
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4:30pm
Well, I have about 42 more pages to go but I HAVE to write about something. Well, there are these 2 guys that are betting with me and instead of coming to the window they make bets from their chairs which pisses me off because I hate when people do that. Well, there is this guy who had been betting some crazy bets. well, he would be $250.00 worth of bets and he gave me $300.00 and I turned to give him the change but he never said anything. Well, another time he bet $280.00 and gave me $300.00 and just walked away. well, I kept the money because we really need it right now. I usually give people back their money but it depends on if I REALLY need it, like I do now because it's almost rent time and I have no food in the house. Well, I counted my drawer and I was short $79.60. Which means I gave someone the wrong voucher. So I ask the two guys if I had given a wrong voucher out and the one guy said no but the other guy (the one who kept leaving before I could give him his change) told me to take it out of his winning tickets. I was just so amazed by that. He must be filthy rich because no one else would do that. But at least I'm not buying crack with his money. {pertaining to a picture of miss Winter Grace}: Awww I remember this day. I really love that girl. I hope one day she can think of me as a friend. :). Alright sweets it's time for me to go. I have been writing in this thing practically all day and now I gotta close down, get outta here, go to school, do some shopping, and fall asleep. I'll write some more later on.
<3,
me
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10:50pm
Wowie woo. How many times can I write in one day? Anywho, R was nice enough to pick up B so I can just chill here. Blah. I'm freakin' tired. So... I understand why you would think that I was Papoooyah. I mean, you had no idea who it was so of course you would accuse every single person you could think of. But I would never do that to you. If I was going to fuck with you I would totally tell you.
But when you were at my house and he started talking with you and I was standing behind you it should be been apparent that it wasn't me. But it's like this--this person comes into your life and starts saying really crazy shit to you and ruins your life for basically a whole year, maybe even longer. You just want to know who the hell it is. There is nothing wrong with that.
Well my dear, I got the whole day tomorrow to devote to you.
Love you!
R
11:15pm
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