Grrrr! Okay, my mom gave me 4 different kinds of wine for my birthday. The only thing I ask if that people ask before drinking it. My white whine is nearly gone and I didn't get to drink any of it! Excuse me if I'm on my period and I can't stay up until 3 in the morning. I don't care if B was the one that drank it. He claimed that he didn't ask me because I was sleep. Well duh! Who starts drinking at 3 in the morning? Come on people. I can't even drink yet cuz I'm still on my period. I'll brb.
Alrighty. well something weird is definitely going on here. Apparently last night there was some type of bad energy here (which gives people all the more incentive to drink, right?) Well--I had the weirdest dreams last night and this one I actually remember. First I was having my period and I couldn't find a private enough place to change my tampon and clean myself.
Then--this is what freaks me out the most. I had a dream about N. we were walking to J's house because I wanted to see what it looked like now. Well, I found J's house but it wasn't her house. And then N put his arm around me and started kissing me. Well, I saw Anakin and Kody as small puppies and then I saw them as what they would look like now. Anakin walked right past me at first but Kody started licking my face (just like when we first got them). I went into the person's house and N followed me in and he wouldn't leave my side. The family came home and asked me what I was doing there. I told them that I didn't want anything. I just wanted to see what everything looked like. The mom said I should talk to the little girl so she would understand. I told her how bad I felt about leaving Anakin and I started crying and then I woke up.
I was thinking about not telling N about my drams because of all our conversations in the last week (basically he told me that he can dreamwalk). I would understand why he would be in my dream if he was trying to protect me, but why would he kiss me? All I remember is that I always wanted his arms around me because I felt safer that way.
Okay. I really feel the need to explain something to you and I know I'm safe with you because you don't think I belong in a mental institution.
Well, you know how I am very in tune with my surroundings, how I can feel if things are good or bad, how I can see colors around people and all that? well, N believes in all of that stuff so he talks bout it all the time. B and I used to talk about energy all the time but we stopped and now N has him talking about it again.
I really believe that some people are not from this world. I really think that there is a cosmic reason why certain people are here on earth. I believe there are angels and devils walking among us, kindred spirits and lost souls who have not yet crossed over. Some people cannot relate to others because they already know what's going to happen.
There are people who really feel this way, and people who claim they are this way but are phonies. I don't think anyone in this house is fake, but there are people who come in here without permission and they might be throwing out negative energy and it just feeds off of somebody.
I really feel like I am not of this world. I notice things other people don't and I listen to nature a lot. But I'm hungry so brb.
Mmmmm french fries ::hides:: lol.
I feel especially kindred to animals. And I am an empath. Like I don't just sympathize, I feel that person's pain. When I was a senior in high school I was a part of a small group. This one time this girl came whose boyfriend had killed himself. I just started crying and I couldn't stop for 4 days. I just kept imagining him on the floor dead and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I even saw my guidance counselor. She asked me why I felt so bad (not to be mean). I just said that even though I had never met him, it was just so sad that he had taken his own life and she couldn't even say goodbye.
Anywho, my point in this rambling is that I believe in the universe, but I also believe in God. He created the universe and everything in it, and he instilled this intuition in my so I could use it. So everytime my intuition kicks in I thank God for it. That is the only part where N and I differ. He believes in many gods. That is too complicated for me.
Well, apparently there was a negative energy that manifested himself in B and now he's depressed so he's over at N's right now. I dunno. I don't invite negative energy near me. I still get bad dreams sometimes but who doesn't?
You know--on a completely different subject--I would love to go into a business with you. I was thinking that it could be a massage place/animal shelter. I would massage the people and then I would get their animals massaged. But the animal massages would be a donation for the shelter. And I'd want the animals to be able to roam free if they wanted so we couldn't have too many. But there would be massage/facial rooms so the animals wouldn't bother the people. It's just an idea I have for now. But if people could see where their money was going, they would be more apt to want to help. Well girl Imma read more of your entries.
<3,
me
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4:22pm
Yuck I have to go to school in a little over an hour. Well, this afternoon was very interesting here. Oh--I'm writing this because I finally finished your entries! Whee! I made some comments on pages so I'd know where the page was I wanted to comment about. you are having some weird dreams, girl. You didn't ask any life questions, but when I do your reading I think I'm going to bring the cards over there. It's better that way, I think.
Well, I had a very interesting afternoon here. Apparently there was some type of spirit (a bad one) that latched itself onto E so she kept going outside and walking around for no reason at all. And whatever it was latched onto B and caused him to be really depressed. So he brought the moonstone in here which is why I had the dream about N. Cuz it was his moonstone. So, they brought A over here (N's ex) and when B and R left the house she, N and I sat in the living room and all I did was pray for protection for everyone and say the Lord's prayer over and over again until A finished doing what she was doing. She knows how to kill evil spirits, which I think is pretty interesting. She has the same problem that I do. She has power to do things but no one to help her learn about herself. No one can "read" me either because they know all I'm going to follow my own instincts anyways. I think if you feel something in your heart you should always at least try it. Like what you were saying about W. You wrote to Dr Phil because you love her and something he said spoke to you.
{comments on her entries}
pg 15: Anyways, man you make some yummy salads. The next time I come over I'm bringing salad stuff.
pg 16: I think everyone has weird body issues. The only thing you'd have to worry about is if it's tarry and bloody. Then you should see a doctor. If you're still alive. Awwww sorry that was supposed to be funny.
(In case you haven't noticed, I'm writing the page numbers down so it's a reference thing).
pg 27: Omg I saw that episode too! It's cheaper and they just disappear for 9 months at a time. It just seems unfair that they have to go through that.
pg 36: I would love to do a portfolio with you. If you need someone to take the pictures before, during and after I can definitely do that for you. Just let me know when and where.
pg 37: Okay--this one will be kind of long. I have marked other pages for this same thing but I'm just going to say it here. You love W. It's obvious you would do anything for that girl (in a more healthy way than some people). I understand that you were mixed up in Ohio and you just wanted something to call your own. You loved W but you didn't think you could be a real mother to her. But you didn't get pregnant and have a kid. I think God gave you W (I mean put her in your life) because she is meant to be your daughter. So you already have a daughter. Not biologically but emotionally.
Alright this just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Around 5:00pm B, R and E got here. E had these burn/rash marks all over her wrists. It happened around the time A did her thing. I dunno what all this means but I just want it to stop. I don't want anyone cutting themselves anymore or anyone to get hurt. I just want whatever is bad in this house to go away. See what you miss when you have the notebook? Haha!
So anyway, no matter what happens with Dr Phil, you and D/D and S... you have W's best interest at heart. You are doing whatever you can in your power to make sure she's okay. There is nothing wrong with that. If you try and fail at least you will know that you tried. Man, you don't know this but I am writing this like 5 hours later. In the middle of writing to you I started looking for a couple necklaces and before you know it I had to leave for school. I couldn't even concentrate cuz I was so worried about everyone. Well, I got home at around 9:30pm. E and B were home. I asked what happened and they told me that they went to Big Lots where N works and he told them to go to A. So E showed A what happened and A did something (I don't know what exactly) but it's healing now. Apparently there was more than one bad spirit and one was in the house and the other was attached to E so when A did what she did I guess the other spirit got mad and hurt E. Now... A doesn't like E, I guess because she knows that N likes her but I dunno what they know so I'm keeping my mouth shut. Yay I can go to the bathroom!
Dammit I was wrong. I NEED TO GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM!
Anywho--I guess there has been a negative spirit following R around for about 12 years--ahhh. I finally got to go. Anyways, I guess when they were over at A's she kind of brought it out or something.
R isn't like everyone else--he chooses not to believe in energy like the rest of us--which is perfectly fine... but if something has been hanging around him for that long it's time to do something about it. I guess R got really upset and left the house. So we went to find him. We found him at the park. I think I am going to say a prayer just to help. It's really the only thing I know how to do. So here I go:
Dear God,
Thank you for this beautiful day you have given us. I have some very important people in my life that need protection. Please send your angels to surround R. He is battling something and he just needs as much protection and guidance as you can give him. And N seems to bring negativity in here because of what he is going through. Just protect his heart so he can heal. And please be with everyone who walks through these doors. They all seem to be susceptible to the dark side and they need a light they can follow. Please let them know that is your light shining through. Please also be with B and I. We have been through a lot these past few months. I know you have been testing us and I know the tests aren't anywhere being done, but in the future please just let us be on the same side. I am taking all of these things up to you because I know and trust that you will be with me in all of this.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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Ahhhh. I feel so much better. And so freaking exhausted from this awful day. that's just a taste of what my days have been like. Hey... I am going to clean my room and I have a mondo amount of laundry to do. I was wondering if I could bring all of it over. We could have a gab fest/Degrassi marathon/picture day thing. Sound alright to you?
Holy shit I cannot believe I am up to page 32 already and I just started this on Saturday. I think I'm gonna work on your card for a bit.
<3,
me
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