August 14th, 2007

August 14th,
2007

It is 12:00am midnight and so it's officially Tuesday.  I read your journal and I feel so bad for you.  But you will see him again.

Dear God,
Please be with C on this night as she learned what happened to her friend. No one really knows what happened except him and you.  Please take care of him up in heaven.  Please be with C as she deals with his loss, and help her keep his memory in her heart.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Thanks for talking with me about Mn.  I know I'll get over it, it just doesn't make any sense to me.  Why go through all the trouble of taking to me when you act like I'm bothering you?
And you know, I don't want to sound conceited, but I think I am a damn cool person to hang out with.  And if he's gonna be stupid about it, then I don't need to worry about him anymore.  I just thought he was nice to hang out with.  But I guess I thought wrong.
I HATE STUPID, IMMATURE BOYS! WHY IN THE HELL DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO DAMN DIFFICULT?  Ugh.  Annoying.  The sad thing is, my exboyfriend Nick made me feel this way.  Like at first it was cool but then we could like hardly talk to each other and instead of letting him do his thing I freaked out and would like email him 4 times a day and I constantly had the feeling I was doing something wrong.  It's not at that extreme, but it feels similar to what I went through before.
What the hell, I'm too old for this stupid, immature shit.  You know... other guys have done this to me.  G did it to me all through high school.  It was okay for HIM to come over uninvited but if I did he would act made at me.  And then Mo would do it too.  I couldn't just hang out with him when I wanted. And now Mn is doing it to me, too.  I give up on being friends with guys.  I really fucking do.  I don't care if he likes me or not.  All I want is for these people to be fucking honest with me. And guys wonder why I have trust issues.  Dumbasses!
And don't even get me started on girls.  The girlfriends I DO have here; you, Ch, V, and A (and a few others) are fine, but most of the girls I know are stupid and childish.
Man I dunno where all of this writing energy but I kinda like it, heh.
Bn and Rn are out now looking for a Sonic so I want to try and stay awake.  I may not, but it's worth a shot, right?  I already took some Valerian and something called Gaba-Val, which is a vitamin capsule that is supposed to calm you down.  And I really need to be calmed down.  I was taking the Simply Sleeps again but I hate those.  I just take them because they work.  But I want to be more healthy in my sleep choices.

I am sorry for not being totally honest with you about Thursday night. I for whatever reason felt the need to go swimming with Mn that night but it didn't last very long anyways.  I know you'd totally understand even if I DID tell you.  I prolly don't even need to explain it now. But I wouldn't be a very good best friend if I couldn't tell you that.  And I promise never to do it again.  I learned my lesson.  I'm sorry please don't hate me!  Okay I know you don't hate me, lol.  I just really needed to get that off my chest.

Well, tomorrow I plan on doing some shopping and going to class. But you will hear from me again.

I love you!
R