6:33am
Hey Chels,
Ugh I cannot get back to sleep. Will probably pass out later, just too much on my mind right now. I cannot believe my life right now, Chels. I should be happy right now. I should be excited about seeing Joe today. But instead, I don't know when and if I'll ever see him again. I guess Mike called him yesterday and asked him what he was doing today and he said he was laying low but he didn't feel right about hanging out with me if he had to lie to Mike about it. So I guess he's going to have a conversation with him about me and see how things go. But he was pretty set in his thinking.
I knew this was going to be an issue eventually. I mean, how real could we ever be if we had to keep things a secret? It shouldn't even be an issue. I mean, if we were broken up for a month and I went for Joe then fine, pitch a fit. But it's been 10 years. So... I dunno. In a way I'm glad that the situation is being forced out but I'm still really upset about not seeing Joe today. And to top it off he abruptly stopped talking to me so I have no idea if he already did talk to Mike or what.
And to top it off, James sent me a message saying he lost 50 pounds and he's still mad at me. Good for him, does he want a fucking cookie? Damn.
6:42am
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