1:45am
Hey Chels,
I didn't hear from you at all today :(. I hope everything is okay with you. I miss you. But anyway... My throat is still sore and I have no freaking idea why. I was so much better over the weekend and then Monday I just started coughing for no reason and my throat hurts again. But the weird thing is, it doesn't hurt like the last time and I don't feel sick like I did last week. I just feel annoyed that I'm still coughing when I should be feeling better already. But whatever.
So... I need to address something with you. I know that by the time you read this it will be old news, but I still need to address this. I'm not happy with you telling me not to date Joe. I mean.... I know you are looking out for me. I know that you don't want me to get involved because you're terrified of me going through what I went through before. I get that. But the truth is, it might happen. I know you just want me to be happy. But what if he makes me happy? What if Joe actually treats me right and actually does care about me? Are you going to begrudge me happiness because of what might or might not happen? Now, I have no idea what could happen. We could just end up being better off as friends or whatever. Or we could actually work out. I really have no freaking clue what could happen. And believe me, I'm sure if Mike found out Joe and I were dating I'm sure he'd flip the fuck out. But like... If Joe is going to stick up for me and actually tell his brother that he added me and that we are friends and Mike hasn't flipped out on that, then for all I know he could end up not even giving a shit if we get together or not. Honestly, I don't know. But it seems like Joe is making a valiant effort to let me know that he likes me and wants to see me and doesn't want to push me into something I'm not ready for. He seems cool with waiting however long it takes to figure things out. So, yeah it sucks that his brother is one big pile of crazy but I'm not going to hold that against him. I have missed talking to Joe and it makes me really happy that he'd put his foot down and seek me out and actually want to talk to me. I know you have your reservations but I really hope that you will support whichever decision you make. I personally think that Brian is an asshole sometimes and you're better off without him when he's making you miserable but hey that's just me. He's your man and if you want to be with him, I'm not gonna stop you. Because yeah you guys might have your issues but I didn't exactly hate him like I hated David for how he treated you. I'm just saying.
Ugh... I really wish this whatever it is will just go away! I need to sleep.
Love you!
Rita
2:05am
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