9:50am
Hey Chels,
I'm up early today because my boyfriend had to work and his alarm kept going off so by the time he left I was awake. But it's all good. I had a rough night last night. My friend Angel called me and said she was on her way to Michigan because her husband's dad was having emergency heart surgery. She then called me about an hour later to tell me that he had passed away. While at the same time, her stepson's wife was going into labor. I felt so bad I couldn't be there for her, and it made me think of our situation. I really have no idea what's going on with you. But as much as I miss you and wish you wouldn't push me away, the most I can do is just pray for you and our friendship, which is what I've been doing because it's something that I still believe in. I don't want to waste time pointing fingers and fighting about who is right. You may not have liked my answer to the question you asked, but at least you know what my problem is. I don't and never have expected you to be up my ass all the time texting me. My point was that it had been over a week since you had texted me even when I posted about my dad. And that was just about something cryptic I put on my Facebook. I am sorry you feel the way you feel right now. I know your way of dealing with things is different than mine. It just hurts, that's all. And I'm sure that if I did to you what you're doing to me you'd be saying the same things as I am about it. You want me to understand something but you've given me no information. You ask me to have faith but even Christians have the bible, a plethora of information. I've been patient with you. It's been almost a month (a week from Sunday, it will be) since we really talked and even then it was bad. You were still telling me that you had to calm down to write this letter. That was almost a month ago. So for at least 3 weeks now I've been sitting here waiting for anything from you. At least when you ask me a question I tell you the answer, even when you don't like it. I can't control your attitude towards me any more than you can control what I tell you. But at least I'm saying something.
In other news... This weekend is going to be crazy busy but freaking amazing. I have a date with my friend Becca tonight... After months of breaking plans we are finally going out for sushi... Tomorrow I'm going to a party over at Ze's house and then my writing group (I'm working on a story right now), and Sunday is the Hanson concert. I am so freaking excited about that. The last and only one I've ever been to was in 2003. Wow... A whole entire decade later. They have really come a long way.
So... You were right about Larry. There I said it, lol. He made it clear that he will never respect me or whoever I'm with. I already don't trust him and we can never just have a regular conversation besides how he's an idiot and all that noise. So, I've decided that as much as he hurt me, I can move on knowing that he knows that much. Besides, if you thought of someone as your girlfriend, wouldn't you want her to only sleep with you and not find someone else? That's so shitty. And I know Mark isn't your favorite person, but he agrees with you that Larry isn't good company to keep. Only thing is I wish I could tell you all of this right now but I can't :(. That makes me sad the most, despite everything. I just hope Chelsea comes back.
Mark and I are doing pretty well still. Every day it just seems like we get closer and closer to each other. I never knew that this kind of love was in the cards for me. I wish that I could tell you all of this and share with you how happy I am. I hope that one day I will get to.
Love,
Me
10:14am
No comments:
Post a Comment