April 18th, 2013

April 18th, 2013
11:33am

Hey Chels,
It's official... It has been raining pretty much all day long. At least it's been raining since I woke up this morning. But I love hearing the thunder, it's pretty cool.
So... I am taking a break from watching YouTube videos. Normally I watch videos right before I go to sleep and right after I wake up, but I started too early so I decided to write for a bit. Also, I have subscribed to so many channels that I decided to make different folders for the categories of videos that I'm watching. I've decided that I'm going to wait until I have a number of videos in each category before watching the videos in that folder. Like... 100 videos. For some things I have to wait at least 3 months before watching their videos if it's one specific person. But like, for comedy, beauty, and for people I haven't made a specific folder for, those will move quicker. I just decided one day that I liked watching a certain kind of video so much that I was watching all those videos first and those were gone so I had to wait. This'll just give me something to look forward to. I know it's kind of nerdy but oh well. I like all the different takes on life :).

So... Something weird happened on Tuesday. I'm not shook up about it or anything but I did want to tell you about it. Ugh. I just got up to use the bathroom and my dad is on the toilet eating a popsicle with the dog sitting at his feet. I swear. So anyway...
I visited Larry at his work on Tuesday and... Things happened. All day on Monday he was going on about how he wanted to see me and all of this and I figured we were at his work so he had to behave. Well... I was there for like, 2 minutes before he kissed me and then before I knew it things just sort of... Escalated. He was inside me for like, a minute before he remembered that he had to punch out (but I think it was also because he was having sex at work). So... I ended up leaving shortly after that. I went into the bathroom to clean myself off and I noticed that I was bleeding. I think it might have been from the way I was sitting or something but it was kind of a lot. I am okay, I took a bath later and I feel better now but that scared me. And then ever since... I think he's a little embarrassed about it. I knew that it was going to happen and sure enough, it did. Now, I'm not saying this to be conceited or anything. But I just mean from personal observation, whenever we have been alone in a room together, things just happen. I honestly have never had this situation happen before but that's just how it seems to be, lol. At any rate... I feel a little weird about it. I mean, I didn't go to his work to have sex with him. I went because he said he had to behave and I thought we would visit and talk for a while and goof around like always but no. But I'm not beating myself up over it or exhausting myself over "what it means" or anything like that. I think I want to give the situation some time to blow over and hopefully we can laugh about it and move on.

So.... I think it's weird that no one has caught this Boston bomber guy yet. I just keep picturing some guy holed up in his apartment getting off on all the media attention. I'm pretty sure it's someone who had a vendetta against the marathon itself because a terrorist would own up to their actions. It's just crazy. I'm unsure why all of this is happening... Like did it really need to? I'm sure the answer to that would be no.

So tomorrow (well, technically today considering it IS Thursday), I get to take my dad to the doctor to get this portable EEG machine taken off. I'm sure the dressing will be completely gone by the time we go but I will try my best to redo it before we go if that happens. It's to monitor his brainwaves. He hasn't had a seizure or anything in a while so... That's good.
We did have a fight today though. I was bitching about how I was going to be late for my group because of this appointment and the rain and all of this. So my dad is like, "can't you just switch the day?" and I'm like, "umm no, we meet on Wednesdays." and he was like, "well sometimes you have meetings on thursdays." and that made me mad cuz like, I went out on a Thursday once in the past like... I can't remember the last time I went out on a Thursday. But every other Monday I have my support group which I don't think I need but I will go every once in a while to see everyone. And then every Wednesday is the tarot group. I would have already gone to the support group but every time I was going to go since January my dad had a crisis. So... I get out while I can. I just thought it was so insensitive of him to ask because I am here all of the time and I try and do things for myself but sometimes stuff happens. But I felt like saying, "well I'd love to spend 100% of my time with you but I don't think that would be such a great idea." ugh.
My dad is like a toddler. He gets cranky when he's tired and then he says things that are mean or he gets upset. I hate how my mom always coddles him. Everytime he does something to piss her off she gets mad and then always apologizes. I never do unless I feel like I was really out of line. But in this case, I don't feel like I was. I need to go out and be around people that aren't my dad and he's not seizing or barfing so I'm allowed to be out. Damn.

Alright... I have written enough here lol. I can't wait for the nb!!

1:12am