1:13am
Hey Chels,
I really do not have the energy to write tonight but fuck it, I have to lol. What the fuck was up with tonight?!? James and Mike talking to me? And then James gets mad that I don't want to be with him. Too fucking bad. Next time you find a woman like me, try not to be a complete moron. He just kept saying he was better than my man and all this other stuff. Technically, I am still single. Joe and I have only been talking for a month and have not had that conversation yet. And believe me, I'm okay with that. I'm not going to have sex with anybody else while I'm seeing him just to make things easier but as far as I'm concerned, I'm still a free woman until we have that conversation or whatever. I'm not pushing it unless it's been 3 months and we still haven't talked about it. I'm not sure it will be that long but we both don't want to move too fast. It's what I wanted with James but he called me his girlfriend after the first date so... Yeah. Talk about scaring me off.
So, this talk with Mike. It was... Surreal. I said some things that might have been a bit too honest but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. Besides the fact that he is married now, he did way too much to rectify the situation. He didn't seem wasted though, he seemed like he could handle the things I was telling him. He asked me if I missed him at all and I said I missed what we had in the beginning and that I wanted him to be happy but that was it and no I didn't miss him at all. And I guess that cleared things up. It's the truth though, yes there was good in the beginning but after we had sex things went to shit and I never really knew how he felt about me. And apparently I scared him because I can be intimidating?!? Me?!? Are you serious?!?
He said he wanted me to be happy too but I know he sure did not mean with his brother. But man... I am praying that I didn't just shoot myself in the foot. I guess getting closure is good and everything. I've just learned to deal with shit on my own.
I'm gonna watch some YouTube videos and then get some sleep. I love you!!
Rita Bo bita
1:27am
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