1:16am
Hey Chels,
Ugh my neck is freezing. I have an ice pack on it because maybe that will help heal it faster. I can tell that I am slowly getting better. It's just taking a long time because I'm me and my body sucks sometimes. But anyway... Today was good... And bad. But I wanted to write about the bad and will write about other stuff tomorrow.
So, you know how I said that Beverly is pregnant? Well... She had a miscarriage today. She had kept saying how she felt like something wasn't right and even I felt like something was going to happen but I figured maybe it wouldn't happen since she was 4 months along. She had to go to the hospital cuz she was having horrible cramps and it turns out the baby had died so they had to get everything out. All that stupid shit who got her pregnant could say was "take care of yourself." really? Asshole. In a way I'm thankful that she will not be having another one of his children because he treats her like garbage. But she finally left him for good and I'm hoping that after this, she won't get pregnant for a while.
The saddest part is that her mom doesn't even know she was pregnant. It would break my heart if my kid could never ever tell me something like this happened to them. I don't care how old they are. If my kid gets pregnant, I would like to have the kind of relationship with my kid where she feels like she could tell me something like that. I wouldn't want to miss out on anything my kid was going through, good or bad. But sadly, I'm sure she wishes that she could tell her mom what happened. But they just don't have that kind of relationship.
Dear God,
Please be with my Beverly tonight. Her body is going through a lot of changes and she is feeling scared and alone. She has already accepted this fate, but it doesn't make the pain any less. I pray that there will be someone she can lean on for support who can be there in person. I wish I could hug her myself but I can't. I want to send her hugs and healing energies and surround her with love and light, tonight and every night until she starts to feel better.
In Jesus name,
Amen
1:30am
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