11:31am
Hey Chels,
Well, I did get to go to that Cubs game after all last night. It was so much fun except for one thing: Kendra's boyfriend. Ugh. Apparently he works for this company that makes defense weapons so he is rich. The seats were free and there were 2 pairs so Kendra and I sat together and Nolan and his friend, Dan, sat together. Personally I thought our seats were better because they were higher up and right behind first plate so it was a perfect view. But after a while Nolan started texting Kendra and bugging her and I to go over where they were sitting. We finally did after the 7th inning and he wouldn't shut up about how selfish she was because she kept saying how much better our seats were. And he even went over to check on her (yes, he's THAT guy) when she didn't answer him back so he could have seen for himself how good those seats were. And the whole night he was just being really rude to her and say cutting things. I just wanted to punch him in the throat. Other than that, the game was really good. The cubs won 5-1. Woot woot!
In other news, I haven't really heard from Larry since last week. I mean, not in the same way as last week. We talk for a bit and then he stops talking. I am pretty sure he doesn't do it on purpose or to be a jerk but... I dunno. My only thought is that he could still be cautious because I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet. But it's not even like we have talked about that. So far we've established being friends and apparently friends with benefits, but that's pretty much it. I guess if it really started to bother me I could talk to him about it but I'm not even sure where to start. I know why we haven't talked about it yet--too serious. As in... a conversation reserved for much, much later. I am still happy that I got to see him last week, though. It was so nice just to talk to him. And I like that he held my hand. I like how our hands fit. meh... I dunno. I like him but I'm not ready for much right now. I'm a lot better off than I was, but still not there. So... I hope that i will know how to put into words questions that I have or had (depending on when I get to ask them). Right now a question would be... oh hell I don't even know. Lol.
Ooh--Barry's court date is in 2 days. I don't think it's a sentencing one, just a status hearing, but it will be interesting to know how it goes. If only I cared enough to actually go. A part of me still hopes he will land some jail time since probation obviously didn't work, but it depends on what the judge says. He is stuck with a public defender though which is like a death sentence. Oh, and I'm started to hear from Sarah again. Every so often she will comment on a fb update or "like" it. but she hasn't really spoken to me at all and it's been like over a month.
Oh great, the stupid neighbor's car is out. Ugh.
<3,
me
12:04pm
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11:54pm
Hey Sweets,
how are ya? I was so bored today I actually started doing 2 things: typing up the last volume of the nb onto my Ipod and studying. I got the 4 week package so I need to crack down on my studies but hopefully I can finish with Massageprep.com for good and then start saving up to take my exam. All the while I will be studying so HOPEFULLY by sometime this year I can finally take the exam again and THIS time pass it. I really want to be a doolah. But I will take any job I can find. I've kind of been bad though--I need to start SOAP charting for Jim. I hadn't thought of doing that because I didn't consider it a real job but it's been almost a year now so I need to start charting. I have a whole bunch of SOAP notes somewhere but of course I can't find them.
So... it feels good to be back in the swing of things. I've been so bored not studying or anything since my laptop broke but now that I can still do the story AND use my dad's computer to study, I really don't see a use for another computer. Maybe after I am finally REALLY done with MassagePrep I can get myself an IPad or something. I saw a cool Tmobile tablet thing for $179 but I'm not exactly sure what it's for.
So, I've been thinking a lot about Larry. And you know... I know in my heart that he likes me. I don't need a million texts a day to tell me that. I can also see that he hasn't forgotten how he feels about me one bit. But I am still guarded because of what happened so I think that when I'm ready for something more serious, I have to be the one to say something. Unless he gets sick of waiting and beats me to it. A couple of months ago all i wanted was to fast forward time because I wanted to see how I would be. But now... I am enjoying not having to answer to anyone. I like that Larry and I still have that spark but he will always be there when I need him, too. But i still need to focus on me and get my shit together. I guess this year is the year of me. Lol. I still want to see how he and I will end up together but not right now.
And this is the way to do it, too. Not by being up someone's ass all the time and worrying if they like you and all that jazz. Just taking REAL time to figure things out and not pushing anything. I know that he likes me and he knows that I like the fact that he is the last person I've done anything with and I want to keep it that way. Jeez--this time last year I was already sleeping over at Barry's house and my parents still didn't know I was seeing anyone because I made such a huge deal out of staying single after the whole Ryan thing. Maybe this was the break I was supposed to take last year? Lol.
Anyway, I'm gonna finish up watching Breaking Dawn. I'm still not done with the cupcakes. 2 more left!
<3,
me
12:22am
5/9/2012
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