June 2nd, 2012

June 2nd, 2012
12:14pm

Hey Chels!
Awww.... so 1 year ago today I was already on a plane on my way to come see you.  Wait... was it a Thursday or Friday? I think it was the 2nd but either way I'm going to check.  Yep the 2nd was a Thursday so it would be today that the trip started.  And we'd have our Twilight party with the cupcakes and all that.  *sigh* I really miss that.  After the past couple of weeks, I really need to get out of here.

So.... I've decided not to stay mad at Larry.  I mean, the whole thing was unfortunate but he didn't even know what was going through my head.  If we were actually together and were serious and he never called me back or if my dad had had another stroke or something and he STILL didn't show up, then I would be PISSED.  But this was a case of me overreacting to something and him being the target because I'm still mad at all the other men in my life, which he doesn't realize either.

This may sound weird, but I keep getting this voice inside my head saying I did the right thing by talking to him and there isn't anything wrong with saying how you feel.  And also that we will be together, just not now.  The thing is--I'm not ready for anything serious and it seems like he's not either.  So... maybe all this happened to show me that I can handle my dad on my own for now and I still need some time for myself.  But seriously, Larry isn't a bad guy.  In fact, even if we were just friends and nothing more, he'd still be one of the best guys.  So I'm taking space from him next week and just deal with my own stuff and see what happens.

Alright.  So with all this going on, I didn't really get a chance to unload about the rest of my trip or what happened to my dad.  So... my mom took my dad to see the neurologist on Monday, May 21st.  She said the doctor had said that the reason why he kept getting these really bad headaches was because of the 2 different meds he was on--apparently one of the side effects to opiates is rebound headaches.  My dad's primary doctor was actually surprised that he hasn't been getting these headaches all along because of the stroke and the 2 brain surgeries.  So... my dad decided to take himself OFF the Norco that he's been on for his stomach (abdominal wall) pain since November.  I have been really scared that something like this would happen but as usual nobody listens to me.  So... he goes cold turkey and by the weekend he's having these shaking fits.  Well, I got home Tuesday night and he was completely fine.  Then Wednesday I run a few errands and I have time to eat half of my sandwich when I hear my dad saying my name.  At first I didn't think anything of it but then it happened again so I decided to check on him and his whole body was shaking.  He was still talking to me so I didn't think it was a seizure but I didn't know what else to do so I called 911 and just kept him talking to me until the paramedics came.  I was just saying at that particular time how I was going to leave Larry alone for a while but that didn't even last a day because I really felt like I needed him.  He was there for a bit at least but had a softball game.  I had asked if I could see him and he did respond back saying he just got home from the game and was tired from the weekend.  Okay fine.  SO the next day is Tursday and I'm at the hospital with my dad and he has another seizure so I call Larry and leave a message and he never calls back or texts me back.  He didn't have a softball game because it got rained out and he even mentioned that on his Facebook and that is what REALLY pissed me off.  So, Friday before I went to the hospital I sent him that text to which he replied that he's just been really busy lately, which normally is the lamest excuse in the book but he didn't say anything else or pile on the excuses or whatever so... for now that will just have to do.
So... I stayed at the hospital until my dad's MRI was over and then came home, watched some TV and slept really well for the first time in a few weeks.  My dad is still in the hospital because he's throwing up so I'm sure I will be spending some time there today.  There was nothing abnormal found in either of his brain scans so the neurologist said he was okay to go home even though he's still barfing.  So I don't think that will be happening.  I think it's a combination of those rebound headaches + new meds + withdrawls.

Oh--before I forget--both Monique and Beverly told me that something big is supposed to happen to me around the 19th-21st of this month.  The only thing I could think of at the time is that Larry's b'day is the 19th, BUT!  Barry's next court date is the 20th.  So... I guess I'll know more after all that happens and either something will happen or nothing will happen.  We'll see.

Okay so--I want to finish writing about my trip but I need a break so... will write more later.

<3,
me

1:08pm