2012
10:28pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAYLEE!
Wow, that girl is 14 today. Yikes. So, I just got a brilliant idea. I was working on my personal notebook today (volume 20) and I got this idea. I think when I finish that, that will be my last 5 subject notebook (to myself, anyway). I want to get pretty books to write in. Also, I had this glorious idea. I am going to take every notebook I have an make a regular book out of it (probably through Lulu.com or I'll try Kinko's and see how much that would be). I'm also going to make books out of the letters I get from you and Beverly. I think the nb idea was great while it lasted but it's taking up way too much space. But... I still have a bunch to finish up, too. I think that is going to be my goal before I'm 30--finish up whatever has to be done to finish the notebooks that are sitting on my shelves and also retake my massage exam. I have 5 months to complete these tasks. Let's hope I can get my ass moving. Also, for some reason I have this idea in my head that after every book I end up finishing, I should burn the original. I would have no need for the original after the published books are made, and then I can save certain pages and put those together in a binder or something. And--oh drat. I found 2 more notebooks that I've never written in. One was intended for my dad--a story of his journey--and another one was improv stories, but I think that I'm going to make 2 more newsletter journals out of those and have that be it. Or actually, what I can do is keep writing in my Livejournal and after ever entry, save it to a notepad or microsoft word or something and every 240 pages or so, make a book. Ooh yay!
I will keep an actual journal for us, though. And I think I owe you a scrapbook. One reason why I wanted the Winter pictures was because I wanted to make a book of all my favorite pictures of you/me/us and put it together for you. Actually, I think I'm going to do that for your birthday plus the notebooks that I owe you. So oh boy, now I have 3 projects. I could do the ones that are just online but I think I want to make or put together an actual album for you. They have some super nice friendship ones at Hobby Lobby. Squeeeee! I can't wait to get started on this one! Maybe tomorrow. You know what would be totally cool (and I just now thought of this)? A book like this filled with pictures and then journal entries. I would have to dive into your mdd entries that I have but I think it would be awesome plus I just remembered that I have a ton of favorite pictures of you already. Of course, the journal entries and pictures won't be in the same order (entries will probably be much, much older), but I will try to put the pictures and entries both in chronological order of how I have them. So that book will be a snapshot of you from the past... 8 years of our friendship (because I only have pictures of us starting from '04 but the journal entries will start from '02 because that's when we met). Omgggg perfect idea! I will try and go through all the significant things in our lives and see if I can find pictures but I won't be able to have pictures of everything I already know that. So tomorrow I have to get started on a timeline and go through the pictures I have.... although I'm not sure if you want the wedding to DAvid to be included. Hmm... I will have to rethink this.
Wow... this is the first time in MONTHS that I actually felt like doing more than just writing. I just hope I can find the energy to put it together.
Anyway, enough about that. So, I guess both Chris AND Barry are out of jail now. I haven't talked to Stephanie but I have a sneaking suspicion that Tory gave Killer back to Barry. I haven't seen anymore pictures of him on her page and she never answered me back when I asked her how Killer was doing. I'm not sure why but I also feel like Sarah is pissed at me for telling Barry who his dog was with. Um, she never specifically told me NOT to tell him and I had no idea how long he was going to be in jail for, so I figured the least I could do is tell him what happened to the dog. But I don't think I'm going to push too hard for that answer. I have no idea what happened at Barry's last court date but he's still free so he probably begged and pleaded until he got what he wanted. And everyone is too chicken shit to tell me anything. Well, fine. They ALL can go fuck off. I'm so sick of people ignoring me and/or making it seem like what happens to them is my fault. Everyone else can be shocked and hurt but I was his girlfriend. I was probably one of the closest people to him for a while. So I couldn't really be held accountable for any of my actions back then. And if I decided to tell him where his damn dog was, I had a good reason for it. It's who I am. I still gave a fuck enough to give him that peace of mind even though he didn't deserve so much as a "boo". And instead of getting anything back I get ignored and lies made up about me and all this other shit. Ugh.
<3,
me
11:22pm
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