June 16th, 2012

June 16th, 2012
12:38am

Hey Chels,
Well, today was actually a very good, productive day.  I did some random things that my mom wanted me to do, cleaned my turtle tank (just changed the water out because it was DISGUSTING), and spent the rest of the day working on your nb, which I finished!  I'm gonna see how I like it and then do the rest of my notebooks in the same way.  It was only 78 pages!  So... if I had all my notebooks as 78 page books, imagine all the space I could save!  As it is, I have 2 whole shelves that are my notebooks plus a tub filled so... I have quite a few areas that could use some room.  And then I have your nb, and a nb I am still trying to get back from Bev (she has had a crapload of things going on so I'm not holding it against her that I haven't gotten my nb back from her yet).  I am going to need volume 6 back but only to copy the actual journal stuff...and then I will send the originals back to you.  So.... yay!  I am all kinds of excited about this.  Some journals I haven't opened since the last time I wrote in them, so it's been quite a while.  A lot of it will be hard to read.  But before I'm 30, I want to get all my notebooks published, even if I'm the only one reading them.

So....I talked to my friend Steven tonight.  I really like him but he lives all the way in Virginia.  He keeps talking about coming to see me so maybe this summer we can make that happen. We have actually known each other since 2001.  He stopped talking to me for 5 whole years because he was with this girl named Ashley but they're separated now.  He had been trying to come out here before but I'd never let him because he was married.  But she has a boyfriend now so... it's not like I would have to deal with her being all crazy.  I dunno about having sex with him, the trip would be more about just getting to meet each other in person for the first time.  But I'm not putting any pressure on myself to "make anything happen."  But I will tell you that I might just give him a big ol' kiss right smack on the lips when I see him because... well... he's him.  And the best part is that I'm single so it's allowed.  So ha!  I'm not getting my hopes up too much, but I really hope that gets to happen.

Alright, snuggles and YouTube time!  Squee!

<3,
me

1:01am
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9:20pm

Hey Chels,
Woot woot!  What a Saturday!  I didn't even get changed out of my nightgown, just chilled in my room and worked on nbs.... I actually got pretty far.  I'm on page 38 already.  I can't wait to finally get that book out to you.  And soon I will be getting paid so... soon when I'm not busy I will be studying AND nbs.  And that is how I will be spending the majority of my summer.  When I'm not out doing stuff.  By the end of this summer I want to finally have everything on that website that I need so  I can make up my study guide and go through it a couple of times before forking over the money to take the test.  And I just want to see how many notebooks I can get through and publish.  But I want to take breaks and enjoy myself and the beautiful days of summer.

So yeah... guess who I heard from today... Danny!  He is out with his friends but we are supposed to have a "date" later on tonight.  I think the last time we talked I was still with Barry and felt bad "fooling around" or whatever but you know what... it's the internet, and I'm single!  And between Steve last night and Danny tonight, I even thought of something.  I could do everything right and be 100% faithful to someone I'm not even with and don't really know if I will ever be with, or I could have fun with guys that live far away and I don't have to worry about either one of them being up my ass.  But I dunno, sometimes I think it would be awesome if I ended up with Steve.  he is the one I would have lost my virginity to if we had ever met in person before this point, and I'm pretty sure that we would still be together now.  The thing with "you know who" is that I DO like him, but who knows if he's going to be smart or not.  He could be a complete moron and decide to not even bother with me as anything more than a friend, which would be unfortunate--for him.  But if that means that I eventually end up with Steve then... yay :).  But this time around I'm not gonna push for a relationship or just be in one... the next guy I pick is going to be someone special.  It's nice that this time I have 2 choices of guys I've known for YEARS that are good guys and wouldn't be mad at hate me if I didn't pick them.  Steve has even talked about moving here so I know that if we decided to be together, I wouldn't have to move away from my family again.  BUT!  I'm happy that I don't have to choose and tonight I can have fun with someone I've accepted to be only an internet sexy partner type thing and no potential anything other than that.  And I know I very well could just pick any random guy from around here and just have "fun" just to have it but you know, that's not what I really want.  I want to enjoy being single and not have to choose anyone until I know the time is right.

Well, it's almost 10 and I want to relax for a bit and not do anything for a while before my "date."  And if you're lucky, I will write about it tomorrow :).

<3,
me

9:53pm