June 8th, 2012

June 8th, 2012
4:23pm

Hey Chels,
I am almost ready with your book (your last nb)!  I have about 50 pages to type out, then I'm typing up my last nb to you and finally sending it, and this one as well depending on how far I am into it by the time I'm done typing everything else up.  But if I keep writing the way that I have been lately, I could be onto my next nb by the time I type this one up.  But either way you are getting everything from the past 2 years in book form and I will try and get the Winter pictures in that book as well.  I think I need a CD to copy then transfer.  I'll figure it out.  If you can wait until your birthday, I'd really like that to be the deadline.

So... I heard from Larry today.  I texted him and said: "hey :) have a good weekend" and he said "thanks you too" and that was it.  That's all I really wanted to say.  I think my problem is that I expect too much sometimes so if I say something I should say it because I want to and not for the answer I want to get back, because that's backfired a few times.  But he obviously doesn't think I'm completely nuts if he texted me back. I don't even know what goes on inside that boy's head but I'm pretty sure he isn't overthinking and overanalyzing everything half as much as I am if at all.  But at least one thing is for sure--he will never ever disappear the way that Barry did not once but multiple times.  Aside from all that other bullshit, I KNOW he doesn't want to hurt me or lose me. As long as he doesn't develop a personality change, chances are he won't.  :).
But anyway...I am going to see Monique sometime next week for a tarot card reading.  It's not just all this stuff with Larry that I'm curious about, mostly I want to see what the next few months will bring.  That includes my dad and my ex and if there's anything I should look out for.  I can hear my inner voices telling me things and of course I trust them but I guess there are some things I'd like validated.  Like something is supposed to happen the week of Larry' b'day.  Well, Barry's arraignment is the next day.  But what do either of these things have to do with me?  I keep hearing that Barry might commit suicide and as much as I don't want to admit this, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even him.  So far I haven't heard anything but... it's always a possibility, anyway.  He was slowly killing himself with the heroin, anyway.  also, in February Monique said something about a new relationship starting up in August and when we were doin that truth circle she told me that my next one would be a musician or in a band and I told her that my friend Larry was in a band with me in high school and her face lit up.  So I'm wondering if she still sees that.  She did predict that we'd take a break but she never said for how long.  And frankly...if it doesn't happen in August I'm not going to be crushed.  That's just life.
And also...I would like to know about my dad, if he'll be in the hospital again and if it will be serious. Chances are that one's a nobrainer, but still.
And then anything else she sees.  But I'm not going to tell her any of this, just see what she picks up on. Then report back here.

<3,
me

4:56pm