12:37am
So... I haven't heard from any jobs yet, but hopefully I will be soon. I'm still applying for jobs though. I went to my therapist appointment today. He seems to think there is some underlying pain that I'm not dealing with. Maybe that's true... But if I stay positive it’s easier to get on with my life. But it is something that eventually I have to deal with. And I will when the time is right.
Dear God,
This marks the last day that Brian will be in the apartment. Wherever he is, just please be with him, and help him see the light.
As for Mike, I don’t know what to think. I think he feels like he has to put on a show for me. I just wish he would calm down so we can get to know each other on a friendship level before we do anything else. I just want him to know that it’s okay to be himself and even a little vulnerable. I promise I’ll go easy on him. Thank you so much for every prayer you have answered. I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
12:52am
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7:46pm
Well, I checked Brian’s MySpace and I guess he’s trying to connect with all his old friends. Basically everyone who’s decided to hate me. Well, they can all say what they want to anyways. You know… I think the only person I would visit down in Florida would be Ryan. I think I’ll shoot for December or January, depending on the job situation. If anything, I’ll stay at a hotel and just be by myself for a week. January is beautiful in Florida.
Anyways… Brian basically just told everyone that I cheated on him… failing to mention the huge fight where he “accidentally” pushed me into the door frame, where I still have a bruise on my arm. And yeah… I cheated… but it was my heart’s way of telling me that it wasn't meant to be with Brian. Maybe my heart was too pure for Florida anyways. Lots of false pretenses down there.
As for Mike… I think I am a huge disappointment to him because I guess I wasn't all over him enough. I really don’t think he understands me. I think there’s a huge maturity gap there. Who knew it would be that serious in the first place. Oh well.
<3,
me
8:00pm
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