September 19th, 2008

September 19th, 2008
7:29pm

Well--I am taking a break from my cell phone. I have not heard from Mike since I saw him on Sunday. I sent him a text Wednesday, Thursday and today and have heard nothing. I think he's prolly really busy but I have all these things I want to say to him but it's kind of hard when he doesn't answer. I know I should not be worrying about anyone but myself right now but I can't help it. I still haven't seen Geoff, either. I want to tell Mike that I don't want to necessarily have sex with him. Like with me... I like the whole gradual build up thing like if it's gonna happen it will but that's not the only reason why I'm going over there. And it's not like I don't want to do things... I just have to be ready for it. I think he'd understand that but I feel like he isn't interested in getting to know me on a friendship level. I dunno. I am pretty sure I'm obsessing about this way too much but I think after what I've been through, I'm allowed.
But I just need a break. I need to read and see movies and hide my phone so I can't check it every 20 minutes.  I've been doing pretty well... I put my phone in the car and when I go to my movie I'm putting it in my room so I can't be tempted.
Also... Ugh.  Ryan.... I dunno. I am glad we didn't have sex.  Anyone can have sex.  I don't. I don't let just anyone do whatever they want with me.  I am surprised I let Ryan do as much as we did together.

I need to stop worrying about boys.  Who knows what trouble I am bound to get into? I am finally registered as an Illinoisan and I had a job interview today so I am on my way to being a self sufficient together lady capable of anything. And I can be fully capable of not worrying why Mike hasn't gotten back to me (I know he is either working or doing band stuff so really he should be off the hook).  I'm just going to try not to worry too much. Pretty soon he'll be bugging me to come over so yeah.

Eek!  I have a job (almost)!

7:56pm