October 28th, 2008

October 28th, 2008
3:49pm

So, I signed my checks over to my mom and when I get my money I am going to tell her that I got a plane ticket for the second week of December for Fl, but i’m not going to be staying with Kristie because frankly she’s too much to handle for 10 days so I’ll be staying with my friend, Ryan.  I did hear from Chelsea yesterday.  She wished me a happy birthday.  And she told me that she and David are getting a divorce.  You know… I don’t think she and David were right for each other since they started going out.  He is too codependent on his mother and she needs to stop worrying so much about guys.  She obviously doesn’t trust guys at all but she doesn’t respect herself enough to save herself for the right guy.  She needs to learn to stand up for what she wants and to stop making excuses for the people she chooses to surround herself with.  As for my friendship with her…. I feel for her, i really do.  But I’m done being the punching bag.  And I may never fully trust her ever again.  I’ll allow our notebooks to continue, but that’s as far as it’s gonna go.  And as for Ryan… I think if the time was right I’d eventually tell her, or I’d stop talking to her.  In a way I feel like I’m going behind her back, because essentially that’s what I’m doing.  But at the same time, according to him she was too young for him and nothing really developed from their time together.  Although I do feel like she has a right to know his side of the story.  But that is not my place.  I was trying to be a friend, I didn’t know we would like each other and things would happen.  I feel like I could never go behind her back without eventually telling her some form of the truth.

But I also feel like keeping it private is the smartest idea I’ve had in a while.  Ultimately, the truth is that if Chelsea and I had never stopped being friends, I probably wouldn’t have met up with him.  Now she’s talking to me again and I feel guilty for not telling her the truth.  I have an idea.  When I get her notebook from her, I’m gonna write her a note telling her the truth.  Then I’m going to tell her that the last time we fought I didn’t cry because I was over her treating me like crap and that’s it.  I’d rather keep my friendship with Ryan than her.  That’s it plain and simple.  That’s my gut talking.

4:27pm