4:37pm
Well, I talked to Ryan… and it’s kinda weird. Last night I stayed up untill 4am just hanging out with Geoff. Today I told Ryan I was up till 4am talking to a friend and he said, “what’s his name?” I told him. And that’s pretty much the last time I heard from him. You know, I never asked if he knew that girl he made out with the day after we had that talk. It was like this… Wednesday night we talk on the phone and then we have this one talk and then he doesn’t answer me and Thursday night he got really drunk and made out with some girl and all I asked was if she was cute and then I said I was sorry for freaking him out and he asked me why I always think he freaks out and I said it was because he never answered me. Everything was fine until Wednesday, now we’re trying to make each other jealous. Geoff’s been my best friend for over a decade. We cuddle and whatnot but it’s not serious. I would never be careless with his feelings though. I don’t want to be careless with anyone’s feelings but sometimes it happens. Alright I’m gonna go for now.
5:04pm
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8:06pm
Dear God,
I wouldn’t bother you about something so trivial, but I feel it is necessary to talk to someone I can trust about this. I’m not sure what is up with Ryan. Everything was fine up until Wednesday night. I feel like something shifted, something either he or I is not saying. I’m not ready for anything serious, but I do like him. I just want to know how he feels about me, if he even still likes me. Does he still want me to come visit him? I don’t want to be pushy, but I would like to know what’s going on with him. I’m gonna leave him alone for a while and hopefully he will say something. Please let him know that it’s okay for him to say how he feels and for now I’m gonna be sensitive and let him come to me. All I need is a sign to let me know he is still thinking about me. I just need some answers to calm my head.
In Jesus’ name,
amen
On another and completely different note, Geoff and I got a little cuddly last night. When we were younger I’ve always cuddled on him but he’d act like an asshole as to not “lead me on” or whatever. I dunno if we’d ever make it romantically but I know in my heart he will always be special to me. I told him last night when we were watching Superbad that I have always thought of him as my best friend and I hope he didn’t mind that. He didn’t say anything but I knew he was thinking about saying something. Also, at like 3am we started holding hands. We always end up doing that. And then I had a dream with him in it. :).
8:25pm
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