11:20pm
Even in fake relationships, there’s still room for the inevitable freak out. I guess everything was going fine until Chelsea started texting Ryan. She told him that she was getting a divorce (which is total bullshit), and he basically said that he was seeing somebody and it would never work between him and her. And I guess I mentioned that I thought she’d text him and he asked me how I knew and I said that she told me and he said, “I thought you don’t talk to her anymore,” and I said, “I don’t but she started talking to me again.” I dunno why I didn’t mention that to him. I just didn’t know that he wanted to know.
So anyways, he said he’s no good at the long distance thing and I said neither am I and then he said something that really surprised me. He said, “But I’m game.” It just shocked me and later on I asked him about it and I dunno what he said cuz I forgot but basically we’re on the same page about liking each other but don’t want to be tied down. Then he said that I was acting really weird. Then I asked how and he said that I never talk about this and now he wonders why. And I said something like what bothers you exactly? The fact that I don’t talk about it or… something I forgot. But I haven’t heard from him since. You know, a big part of it is my period {or the fact that he’s a little whiny baby}. I am in a lot of pain so I act goofy. Another part is I don’t want to upset him. When I left, I knew that it hurt him and I know talking about it upsets him. I mean if my parents lived in FL I wouldn’t have had to leave him. And he is not even one reason why I left. But I’m not ready for a serious commitment and he isn’t either. So… I dunno what I said but I’m gonna let him work it out and talk to me. I know it’s gotta be lack of sleep but what he said really did surprise me. Maybe soon I will get the answers that I’m looking for.
<3,
me
11:38pm
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