That Particular Time by Alanis Morissette
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"I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself
and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
and in the meantime I lost myself
in the meantime I lost myself
I'm sorry I lost myself--I am.
you knew you needed more time, time spent alone with no distraction
you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted
at that particular time love encouraged me to leave
at that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me
that particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
at that particular time
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This was the last cd my Angie made for me. I got it when I was first starting to go out with my ex. It reminds me of summer, of first loves and then all the heartbreak of what followed afterwards. But it held more meaning after I broke up with him for the second and last time.
Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
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I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
why can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do"
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This song just came out last year but this is my song to Geoff. He has put me through so much over the years... he would flirt with me and the act annoyed when I'd come over. But I didn't want to go out with him I just wanted to be friends with him. But he just didn't want to "lead me on". Wtf? I just wanted to cuddle. I guess he confused that with me wanting to be with him, unless he knew that I just wanted to be friends and it pissed him off. Either way I picked the man who wasn't afraid to be honest with me. Sometimes I think about what would've happened with Geoff. Maybe I'd be happier still living at home. Going out with him every once in a while. But I dunno. I'm 25 now I don't need to still be living with my parents. Maybe we would be roommates. That would be interesting. Oh well. We once said that if neither of us were married by time we were 29, we'd get married. I wonder if he still remembers that.
Never Is a Promise by Fiona Apple
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"You'll never touch these things that I hold
the skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
you'll never feel the heat of this soul
my fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown to you
You'll see don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you
can't afford to lie
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I remember when I got the album Tidal, I'd always put it on to fall asleep and I never got to listen to this song cuz I'd always be out by the time it came on. But to put things in perspective it is a song about a woman who is telling this man that he isn't blessed enough to feel what she's feeling or hear what she's thinking anymore because he refused to see it when they were together. And that's what my ex was like to me. He took whatever light I had and tried to crush me and my dreams. But it didn't work. So ha on him!!
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