9:11pm
Ooooh green! Was not expecting that. Cool. Anywho…. something serious has been on my mind so… I gotta write.
I think I am falling for Ryan. I dunno exactly when it happened, maybe at Alex’s wedding, I just realized it. But I don’t want him to know. I mean, I care about him a lot but if he meets someone else I don’t want him to miss out on an opportunity just because of me.
OH! Alex is finally a married woman! Her wedding was so beautiful. I was so happy to be a part of it. Alex and I have been buddies since we first met. We have never had any fights or anything. She has always been there for me, even when I didn’t want anyone to be there. She deserves someone in her life that can handle the task of taking care of her.
Anyways… I just miss Ryan. He’s visiting his mom in NY and I saw myself wanting to fly there myself one day. And I found myself staring at the empty seat next to me wishing he was there with me. I guess he turned from a pleasant surprise to someone I find myself caring about. I have some plans to see him again in January when it’s really cold here. I have been saving change so after the new year I can by my own ticket. Hopefully by then I’ll have some sort of job. I really need to study for my boards. Just one week… no worries…. just me, the beach, and maybe Ryan.
Well, I am going to watch an episode of CSI: Miami with my mom so I’ll write more later.
<3, me
9:35pm
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