So... this is what I've decided. If I'm gonna print out my own stuff, I'm going to need new ink (which I really can't afford). So I'm gonna write down what I want to put in and print it out at school so I can still use the same background I was going to.
So... you know how when you hear a song and there's a verse or phrase that truly speaks to you? Well... it's like that for me. So what I want to do today is find songs that I like and then later find the parts that really speak to me and add it to the notebook. So for now I'm gonna think up all the songs I like. (ooh this should be fun).
{songs}
Phew that's a lot of music. I'm gonna be busy for a while. But hey... at least I'm not stressing about stuff I can't control. Right? Right. I'm kind of excited to do the runway. That was really cute. I think Friday I'm gonna hang out with you and get stuff for the notebook. Plus I still owe you $15.00 for the lotions. Some guy left a winning ticket at my window a couple days ago so I can pay you back.
Alright sweets. I'm gonna read more of the notebook now and then do my thing with it (at least get started on it).
<3 ya!
Rita
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I just got finished reading. Awwww babe! You know what you said about putting on a facade for your parents' friends? I have had to do that too. For one, living with Bitchface Macgee. But that wasn't good enough for Earnest I guess cuz I got called "two faced" and all that stupid shit. But hey if I read someone's journal where that person was OBVIOUSLY upset when she wrote it, wouldn't said person be mature about it and just say, "hey if there's anything you need to say just say it?" No, that person gets mad and just LEAVES. hey I gave Lauren a chance. I gave up my 1 bedroom apartment so they could have a shot at their relationship. I gave her a home when she couldn't live with her mom anymore. And how does she repay me? By acting like a spoiled 8 year old. I never "pretended" to be her friend. I could see through her like air. But whatever. Ugh sorry I didn't mean to bring her down.
Anywho--my point is that sometimes you have to decide what is more important. Keeping the peace or telling the truth about your parents? If your parents' friends REALLY wanted to know the truth, they wouldn't accept your "nice" answers. I could never tell my aunt about how she always abandoned me so I just say "I love you" and move on.
I personally think that your parents don't deserve a daughter like you. You are such a wonderful person and if they can't see that then they don't deserve you. And I also think Traci needs to GROW THE FUCK UP!
As for Britney, who gives a shit if she cries? It just means she's human just like everyone else. Crying cleans your soul. When you feel stressed out or sad, crying is a healthy release. These people are acting like she's not allowed to cry or something stupid like that. It's obvious she's a person with feelings. Whatever happened to being respectful?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
At any rate, I'm gonna relax now and grab something to eat and lay down.
Oh! As for your dreams--this of if this way. Houses represent your physical body. "your body is a temple" sort of thing. If you're thinking of your old life, your old house in your dreams is just telling you that you've grown up and finding more efficient ways of communication and self expression. The devil is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes he pops into dreams to test our faith. That and it's more of what he represents more than anything. What does the devil represent to you? To me he represents the dark side of life. Everyone has a devil inside them, challenging them and trying to break us down. He's that voice telling you that it's "okay" to do something wrong or that you'll never be good enough just the way you are. But then there's God. There's always 2 sides to everything. People are always more inwardly complex, keeping their real feelings closer to their hearts. Even if they are bad on the outside, they're way more complex on the inside.
Also, dreams are just your mind's way of working stuff out, kind of like a movie. Your mind has up to 5,000 thoughts at one time so whatever you are presenting out to the universe will be shown to you at night when you sleep. The dream dictionary isn't going to spell everything out for you, it's just going to make you pay more attention to the details your head and heart are giving you.
FOOD TIME! YUMMY!
<3,
Rita
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