December 7th, 2008

December 7th, 2008
12:50pm

I have never wanted something so bad in my life.  It’s the 7th and I haven’t gotten my period yet. Last couple months I got it on the 8th, last month I got it on the 4th!  So… this really blows.  I just want to be okay when I get to Ryan’s house and I want to be free.  I know he won’t care about I don’t want him to see me like that.

Oh… I have to thank God for answering my prayers.  Ryan and I talked things out and then some.  I still don’t know if this is what you would call a relationship but I don’t really care anymore.  He makes me smile and he likes the outdoors and much as I do… Finally someone who will take me to the beach and watch the stars with me.  You never realize how much you really want until it happens to you.  When Brian and I first started talking, he wanted to take me to the beach at night so we could make love under the stars…. sadly that never happened.  I dunno if it was because he forgot or what. I just think that even if I hadn’t met Ryan i would still have broken up with Brian. There were a lot of problems and the whole fight would still have happened, because it did. It happened 10 whole days before Ryan and I met.

Man… I have major cramps and my boobs are seriously hurting.  My period better get here soon.  I don’t care if I’m still on it when I get there, just don’t want it to be my first day.  Cuz then it’s fine I don’t even have to worry about it.

Dear God,
I don’t think I have ever prayed about this before so it’s gonna sound weird but… do you think that you could perform a small miracle and send my period down to me?  Also, could you make sure that it doesn’t snow on Friday until I get down there?  That would be great.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

I feel so silly praying for my period. But it needs to get here!

Wow… last page.  Never thought in a million years it would be me finishing this up.  But, given the last few months, I think it’s fitting.  This was more my book than anyone else’s, really.

Well, I’m gonna put new covers on my bed, and pray my period gets here soon.

Love,
Rita

1:29pm