1:16pm
Well... I am finally here. I swear that other journal took THE longest to finish. I guess it took THE longest to finish. I guess it took a while to let it feel like home.
Well, it's been a crazy summer. Chelsea and I still aren't friends. And I guess that's how it has to be. She has since changed her myspace password and deleted my journal from her friend's list. I have thought about creating either another myspace account or journal but it doesn't seem worth it to me. Well I guess she has found another bff--Erin. But I saw that coming. I guess Erin is moving in with David and Chelsea, and Chel has to give up Tucker. In the last journal entry I read, she was doing it again. Making up excuses for someone else who treats her like shit. But I guess this time there's no sympathy. Because she chose what she wanted, now she has to deal with it. She just has to remember how good she had it with me and I hope she realizes that she made a huge mistake. Maybe I didn't give her enough space but she could have been honest with me in the first place. I thought we were better friends than that. But... maybe this is a lesson for the both of us. For me to realize that she really can't handle my opinion and for her it's that she is WAY too naive.
I'm still moving back to Chicago in about 3 weeks. In a way I'm ready and in another I wish things were different. Being down here with Brian has made me realize that I dunno what the hell I'm doing in relationships. Sometimes I am so in love with him I just cannot wait to get married and then other times I wish I was single. I dunno if he's changed or if he just got comfortable cuz I've seen how he can really be. This is gonna sound bad but I feel like part of the reason why he's with me is because he doesn't want to be alone. I know he loves me but I dunno. Lol I already wrote about this like last night. I don't need to write about it again.
I just dunno if I want to get married. I feel like at this point in my life I want the kind of relationships that I want. I never got that. I've never met anyone who didn't have their nose up their ass about something. I just want to be free and not worry about commitment. Hell, I'm happier when I'm alone anyways.
Anywho, I do have stuff that I need to write about but I've been neglecting someone else's notebook.
<3,
me
1:46pm
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