8-21-10

8-21-10 12:20pm

Two hours til I’m home finally.  I’m not very excited cause it means back to Sears but oh well. I’m surprised that my friends missed me as much as they did.  Everyone has asked me like, everyday when I will be home.  It’s nice.  So anyway, there is a lot to do when I get home.
--work on driver’s license
--work on certification test (to become a CMA)
--health care district application
--food stamps application
--paint bedroom
--paint bathroom
--look for queen sized mattress
--nbs
--work

Not to mention that Athena (a friend of mine) and I are going to start Weight Watchers.  Plus, Nicole and I will start working out together.  She’s the one who calls me a drama queen.  That’s the only thing about her I want to change.  We’re better now than we were.
Ugh, I just looked over my list, and it’s so much!  I know it will keep me busy, but I’m going to really have to be strong and motivated.  Especially with the driving stuff.  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.  Eek!  Me?  Driving? In SOUTH FLORIDA?  I must be nuts.  Lol.
61 Miles to West Palm Beach!  Woot woot!  Wanna hear something funny?  My dad’s trying to get me excited about a $350.00 laptop.  Wtf?  I think he just wants to get rid of the PC and desk we have.  Lol.  He’s so funny.  Anyway, I have a feeling I know what I’m getting for my birthday now.  Lol.  We’re listening to Celine Dion and I just really freakin’ love Celine Dion.  “That’s the way it is” makes me want to be patient with Dan lmao.  “Don’t give up on your faith, love comes to those who believe it, and that’s the way it is.”  Okay, Celine.  I will take your word for it then.  *I* think Dan could be worth it. I’m just afraid it will turn into another Ryan story.  I mean, why tell someone you’re interested if you really aren’t?  So he MUST be.  Right?  Plus, my friend Dave told me he’s worth the wait cuz he’s a great guy… He says if Dan wasn’t interested, he’d say so.  So, I’m holding onto that.
Oddly enough, Grant made me believe it was possible for me to love again.  I don’t know why, but he made me feel alive inside.  I think if things had ended differently with us, I’d feel differently about wanting to date again.  In a way, I’m glad that whoever told on Grant and I, did.  I feel sort of like maybe they were protecting me.  Everyone saw him as a disgusting, pervert, creepy guy even.  Not me.  Maybe he was, I don’t know.  It’s like Ryan… everyone saw him as a schmuck, and bad for me.  But I saw so much in him, Rita.  So much and that is why I loved him.  And look!  He makes you happy, so clearly, I wasn’t too far off.  I think all the good I saw in him is being brought out for you.  Maybe I wasn’t wrong about Grant, either. He’s not for me, but that’s okay.  I can love again cause he awakened that feeling in me again. I’m grateful.  I don’t know why I got into all this.  I’m sorry.  Lol.  20 miles to West Palm Beach!  Woot!

<3,
Star