12:05am
Hey Sweets!
Omg what a freaking day. I did not sleep very well at Barry's -- I guess it has been a while since I actually slept there without a million things going on. When I finally did get to sleep I had nightmares. I actually remember them. In one dream I was walking down the street with this girl. I have no idea who it was but she was skinny and had long wavy hair and was really nice. We bumped into these 2 people -- one was her best friend who was a girl and the other one was this guy named Steven who I used to work with at Winne Dixie. We all said hi and passed each other.
Oh, before I forget, I have to write about something else. I'm sorry but I have been meaning to write about this and I never get around to it. So, there is this guy named Steve who lives in Virginia. We met online when I was in high school (I met him the night I was supposed to go to my senior prom but I wasn't asked). So this is 2001. We talked that whole summer and in August decided to be exclusive. But then he met Ashley and I met someone else as well. I guess he had another year of high school left and that's where he met her. Well, they had been together this whole entire time and he had kind of stopped talking to me. I talked to him on the phone when my dad got sick and he was still with her. And then I didn't hear from him till August 2008. When I was having the worst time of my life. He told me he was still in love with me even though he was married to Ashley at this point. I guess he told her about me and she was jealous. Well, duh! I guess after a while the love just died and a few weeks ago she finally left him. He always said I would be his next girl but you know -- he never gave us a chance to begin with. And although it's flattering that he's been in love with me for a whole decade, he took vows with someone else and made no effort to show me he was serious about me. So what am I going to do, just sit around and wait for him to come here? When I have someone who took a chance and scooped me up as soon as he could. I would have ditched Brian and Ryan both if Steve had shown up at my door. But he never did. So oh well. Okay -- moving on. So, this girl and I walked behind this building and there was a chain link fence. She wanted me to see this piece of glass in the fence and it somehow got into her finger and it was big enough that if she moved it she would have lost that finger tip. So I told her to hold her hand up above her head so the blood would clot faster. Then suddenly we were inside a classroom and I was asking for a first aid kit. I grabbed one but there were a bunch of throat lozenges that I had to dig through to find the stuff I needed to fix my friend's finger. I finally got her stuff and took her to this bedroom to get her fixed up and she turned into Brian (ew!). I was like, "umm how the fuck did you get here?" and then I saw that Nick was there too. I turned back around and Brian looked bad, like his skin was peeling or something and he had bruises, like he had AIDS or something. I told him he had to go to the hospital but he wouldn't go so I told Nick to take him and I told him I'd be there but of course that was a lie. I had another bad dream but of course I can't remember jack shit about that one.
So, I decided to get my data plan back and it works for both phones. I figure as long as I have this massage gig and working with Monique (whenever that will happen) I can swing it. Plus I think it's cool that I have full use of 2 separate phones. I think after this month I'll be done paying the Gravity off. I still like that phone, but I do miss the cool features of the smartphone. Except the face book widget doesn't work.
So, my time with Barry ended up being really chill and laid back. It has been a long time since it's been just the two of us. I know since he's self employed that his work has to come first. But he needs to take care of himself also and yeah people get pissed when stuff doesn't work right but he's doing the best he can and he can't work 24/7 until his heart gives out. He needs to be able to say, "I need a break. Everyone chill the fuck out for a little bit." And these people need to respect that. I did find out something a bit unsettling today though. Barry and I were, doing stuff, and even though I was turned on I guess I could have benefited from some help (lube). Well, apparently when Barry's cousin came over with his new girlfriend they were "doing stuff" in the bathroom and stole his lube! How fucking gross is that? It's one thing to steal xanax from someone who stockpiles them (Barry didn't have health insurance for almost 10 years and he has panic attacks so xanax is a necessity for him) but to go into someone else's bathroom and mess around with your girlfriend and steal their lube? Shameless. I'm sorry, call me uptight but who has sex in someone's apartment that they 1) don't live in and 2) just met? I would never go into someone's place that I just met and have sex with my boyfriend. And I'm sorry but they're so horny they have to do it right at that very minute but they STILL need lube? At least when Barry and I did it in there it was special and he told me that he loved me and cushioned my head and it was very sweet and romantic and we also had to resort to doing it in the bathroom because we weren't alone and it had been too long since we had any quality time. I have done "stuff" in bathrooms but never "it" and certainly not at someone's house that I don't even know. And how fucking rude is that? To just assume that you can use someone's teeny tiny apartment to have sex with your girlfriend. UGH!
Sorry, I am done now. This is in no way a judgment towards you if you have ever done anything like this (it's okay if you have). I am mostly just disgusted that Chris took his new gf to Barry's apartment to have sex in the bathroom. And on top of that, STOLE HIS LUBE. GET YOUR OWN LUBE, ASSHOLE. It's not like I always need it, but in instances like today it would have been nice to have. I was turned on and everything just couldn't get wet enough. Has that ever happened to you?
Wow, it is nearly 2am. I need to get some sleep. It has been a long time since I've felt like writing this much and I know I got more to say.
Love,
Me
1:42am
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